As much as the others would be surprised, so am I on suddenly going back to "Godot" after almost 3 yrs! At this phase perhaps the sole idea of waiting for something reminds me of nothing else but that....and perhaps thats because its much more than just the act of waiting.....almost parallel to the quest of one's existential angst. I'm still on that path, in search of something quintessentially real in absolutely "real" sense..the kind of consistency that i talk about all the time and look forward to in everyone all the time. In fact, in not so much as others, i'm upset over random recent inconsistent behavior on my part as well......over my impulsive responses to everything, waivering between the positive and the negative swings as manipulated by others !! I wish i could be strong enough to see through things....to realise the long term implications of what others actually mean.
Thats how emotional fools are.....being carried away by the instantaneous circumstances! One moment i might be very very angry over something, so hurt that mere mention of the name of somebody can drive me crazy with fury...and the very next moment all that is forgotten after just few soft words.
Am still trying to find out the real "Godot" for me...counting days on one hand for something so close to the superficial world and relationships....and on the other hand the larger than life quest for everything else...be it hope, be it happiness, be it peace, prosperity, success, freedom, or ulmitately the final truth of Death.
So from the time the plane lands here in Noida.....to the time the chariot leaves for the heavenly abode finally.....
I'm waiting for "Godot" :)