"she had been able to think of little else....missing him,praying for him,crying for him,the pain so great that for a while it somehow masked the pain of her body.what had a blow mattered, when inside she had felt as if she had already died?
Later when the fresh pain of losing "HIM" sealed over, and the realization of the lifelong despair and pain that her life would be settled in upon her,she had often dreamed that somehow HE would rescue her. But she had known that she had sinned and even as she hoped and prayed,she knew that HE would never come back.Even if HE had known her fate, HE would no longer have cared. "HE" hated her.
Finally she accepted that her dreams were nothing but that, and that no one could save her from her fate, and,gradually she ceased to feel at all, either loss or the memory of love,of GOD, all emotions ground into sand under the millstone of her marriage."
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