Monday, September 12, 2005

Under the Lilacs........

Under the lilacs….

There was a Turkish pavilion, just like the valley of love .
Aah ! that was a perfect dream! The valley dotted with flowers; all pinks and reds and yellows and lilacs and the buttercups everywhere, the butterflies hovering over them, kissing them tenderly, filling themselves with the sweet nectar from the flowers. The flowers nodding their heads in approval, eyeing each other with pride, envy, love, blushing at the attention and drooping under the weight of its own vanity.
The bower with the seat, shaded with jasmine trees and overgrown with honeysuckles led me to that perfect setting where nothing seemed to go wrong, where everything seemed just right, where the line between dreams and reality blurred. The only thing that existed was perfection, the ecstasy of love and the divinity of experiencing that.
One of the most beautiful sights I’d ever seen !
From then onwards, whenever my thoughts wandered, they always returned there – the paradise of love, free of all care, free of all worries – more beautiful than anywhere I’d ever been, ‘cos it held the idea of perfection, of love that I had been looking for, that I had been yearning for, craving for desperately.
And the red velvet curtains with tassels drawn across the windows blocked the beauty out!
There was a surge within me, the overwhelming desire to rush out in the open, free air, into that paradise, the Nature waiting for me with its arms wide open, waiting to gather my shattered pieces within its folds. Break free ! I heard my soul.
I made a bed of oats, under the cedar bush, near that love bower…..
With flowers strewn all over and in my arms and fell asleep….asleep after a long long time. Even the sleep had deluded me all this while. The oats – so smooth, so soft to touch, just like the human skin, caressed my entire being, my battered tormented soul and put me to rest. My first brush with tranquility in a long time. Could I forget the moment?
I had the beauty all around me, all within me. the fragrance all over and within me. The ultimate joy and the splendour of living my dream…..the perfect bliss!
And then my eyes were wide open, I was wide awake. You disillusioned me and so did sleep and my perfect dream. It never existed, it never was, it was never meant to be. The soft smooth oats were gone, & so were the lilacs, the fragrance, the love bower, everything. Bereaved of the perfection in reality- perfection that could be mine just in dreams. I woke up and found myself very sick. Ill, but not dead you see. Death forsake me too. Did it want to give me another chance…..another chance of living that dream….. I wonder! Perhaps it wasn’t as hopeless as I thought it to be.
Time to think……will it be possible for me to rise again?

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